


It's All So Incredibly Loud

by Nullios



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Intrusive Thoughts, M/M, No Beta, POV Second Person, Sylvain is not having a good time, dimitri and ingrid are mentioned, its not as good as it may seem, negative thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:07:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28782450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nullios/pseuds/Nullios
Summary: Sylvain has intrusive thoughts about his relationships with his friends.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Kudos: 16





	It's All So Incredibly Loud

It's difficult, isn't it? To live your life loving your best friend, willing to do anything he requested at the drop of a hat. To protect and to cherish for eternity. You've loved him long before you even knew what love was yet-

You're afraid to call it that. You fear that if he ever found out, it would all be over. He wouldn't take you seriously. He would leave you.

Who could blame him? You've been digging this grave for years and you've procrastinated laying in it. Everyone knows the rumors. Everyone knows of your ways. Some flock to you in hopes of fixing you, or being the exception but can't handle the mess that is your life.

He wouldn't believe you, would he? He would call you a liar, a cheat, the biggest idiot of all of Fodlan. A scoundrel. A scumbag.

Yet you would let him, wouldn't you? You would let him walk all over you and take and until there was nothing left. You would give him every piece of your being to get him to stay.

How noble.

It was easy to ignore these feelings when you were back in Faerghus, you would see him perhaps once or twice a month and have a reprieve of his presence. You would only have to worry about sending letters to him if you dared to even do so in the first place.

What if he returns these feelings? How embarrassing it would be for him to be with someone like you. Constantly doubting your faith because of your horrid reputation. Doubting your skills from your lack of training. Doubting your intellect from your lack of studying. You would only be a burden to him, wouldn't you?

Just get rid of these feelings. He'll find someone that completes and compliments him in every way while you'll spend the rest of your life in a dead-end relationship with a woman who only cares about your cursed crest. He'll go down in history as someone important to his king and his country while you waste away a playboy.

It's hard keeping these thoughts to yourself, isn't it? One day you'll explode and push everyone away from you. Maybe that'll be the best for them, so they no longer have to deal with your antics.

Ingrid can finally stop babysitting you, a grown man, from your own mistakes. Dimitri wouldn't have to have such a disgrace in his company when he's king. How selfish of you to disturb them with your problems.

Felix wouldn't have to worry about the stupid promises that you two made when you were children. He wouldn't care about them if you just cut contact. You're only bringing them down in the long run.

You flirt and sleep with anyone to feel some resemblance of stability and love, to believe the illusion that someone will eventually care about you.

How tedious and tiring it is, to be you, Sylvain Jose Gautier.


End file.
